When we first think of loss, we often think of the loss of life. However, there are many types of loss in addition to that of a precious life:
Loss of friendships, romantic relationships, social connections
Loss of hearing, mobility, sight, quality of life
Loss of a dream, an opportunity, a career
Loss of an old lifestyle, tradition, or way of being
No matter what kind of loss you are experiencing, just know that you are not alone in your struggle. Human beings are meant to confront impermanence. Human beings are meant to look loss in the face and see that it is a form of change that requires our adaptation. We are living through a global pandemic, where loss and change are all around us. While it may feel painful, disorienting, heartbreaking, or even scary, it is in our nature to overcome. Instead of staying in a place of numbing out or lashing out, we have the opportunity to reemerge after loss. Let’s delve into some ways that will help us move through and adapt to loss and change.
The process of grieving a loss may seem obvious to some and a burden to others. No matter the level of loss you are experiencing, if it brings you negative emotions then you must take time to grieve. There is no set amount of time that is required of grieving; however you must listen to your gut instincts to know if you’re taking too much or too little time. It may sound simple, but we need to let ourselves feel our feelings. Some loss requires us to initially repress or stay strong for others and that’s ok, as long as you set aside a time of awareness in which you sit with yourself, become aware of any attached feelings, and let them be, before you move on. Many of us repress our emotions, which can lead to internalized pain and suffering that later manifests into other afflictions or personality shortcomings. Take the time to cry, scream, curse, curl up in a ball under a blanket if you need! No matter what society may say, there is no shame in expressing your emotions. Feel it to heal it, because the longer you wait, the greater chance you have of small, yet lingering bouts of wallowing in sorrow or anger later on. I repeat: FEEL IT TO HEAL IT.
2.) Make the Conscious Decision to Move Forward
Making the decision to move forward and adapt does not mean you completely forget your loss or that you no longer experience emotional setbacks. Instead, when you make the conscious decision to move forward you allow yourself to reframe your perspective or to align your brain with newer, more positive ways of thinking and being. You can actively decide to work on your emotional resilience and persevere. Be so set on improving your life after loss that you wholeheartedly believe in a better future than your current reality. We may not have complete control over external circumstances, but we do have the power to improve our inner worlds. Your loss is going to shape you, your character, and your life in one way or another, so believe in your own power to adapt and improve, and so it will be.
3.) Make a Plan & Be Consistent
You’ve made the decision to move forward and you believe that you can do it, so now what? It’s time to dig deep and figure out what is going to improve your life after loss. This plan will be built on a very individual basis, however it must be built! It’s time to try some actions that are going to motivate you and raise your frequency. These new actions could be old or new, but they must be something that brings you joy, satisfaction, peace, sense of relief, or really any incremental benefits. Whatever you do, do it consistently and without judgement of yourself. There are a number of activities that can boost your overall well-being, here are a few:
Move your body in any way that you can-exercise classes, weight training, floor work, walks, stretches, ANYTHING!
Eat to nourish yourself-more fruits, vegetables, and healthy meals all around!
Discover new books, podcasts, movies etc. that spark your interests.
Try acupuncture, massage therapy, meditation, salt cave sessions, and other healing modalities and services. Check our website for helpful information on all of the services we offer.
Find a new hobby or rediscover an old one that makes you happy.
Seek out self-help or improvement resources-books, therapists, teachers, articles.
Decide on a specific goal in a given timeframe, work towards it, and achieve it. Don’t doubt yourself.
4. ) Create a New Support System or Enhance the One You Already Have
Support systems don’t all look the same. They can be filled with family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, coaches, teachers, therapists, health practitioners etc. They can be found in-person or online. They can be small or they can be big. It doesn’t really matter as long as they are who YOU want to surround yourself with. Seek comfort and companionship from those who can hold space for you and support you. Choose people who are understanding, empathetic, and uplifting. Your support system is definitely out there. You may need to put some work in to find it, but you will.
Loss is tough and full of change, but so are you. Find peace with that and keep on.